Contradicting Views

I believe most bank customers can be split into 2 categories: those who must think I am psychic and those who must think I'm dumber than a rock.



If you're wondering which category you fall into (and hopefully you're in the minority and neither category applies to you), answer the following questions to find out:



1. you need to make a withdrawal at the bank, so you

a) simply say to the teller, "i need money" assuming that they know the exact account to make the withdrawal from and the exact amount needed

b) ask for a withdrawal slip, fill it out, hand it back to the teller and then explain slowly that you need to make a withdrawal out of the account you've already written on the slip, for the amount that you've already written in

c) fill out a withdrawal slip and give it to the teller



2. you need to make a deposit into an account, so you

a) hand the teller a wad of cash and say, "put this in my account" without giving the following information: who's account the money is going into or the account number

b) hold up a pre-filled deposit slip and point out to the teller the account number that the money needs to go into... complete with the announcement, "this needs to be deposited into this account"

c) hand the teller a completed deposit slip and the check/cash



3. you need to make a $75 credit card payment with a $100 bill, so you

a) give the teller the $100 bill and say, "pay this on my credit card".... then get upset when the teller puts the entire $100 towards your bill

b) hand the teller the money and a filled-out payment coupon (on which you've already indicated that only $75 is to be payed), and then continue on to explain that you need $25 back

c) let the teller have the cash and the payment coupon you filled out, trusting that they can handle the subtraction of $100 - $75



Results:



mostly a's: you think that bank tellers are all-knowing... however, they cannot do their job efficiently without certain pieces of vital information. start giving them the information that they need!!



mostly b's: you think that bank tellers are idiots... however, since you have already provided certain pieces of vital information, you can sit back & relax and trust that they know how to do their job!!



mostly c's: congratulations! you are probably a favorite customer among bank tellers! you provide them with the information they need without insulting their intelligience!



To all the "c" people out there: THANK YOU!!!

CLOSED

It's amazing the lengths we have to go to just to convince people that the lobby is closed at the end of the day (while the drive thru is open for an additional hour)...
You'd think that simply locking the front door would be enough... but you'd be wrong!!

After locking the door, we're always sure to turn off all the lights in the branch, except for the ones lighting the drive thru (intended to be a clear indicator of our "closed" status... but it doesn't seem to get the point across!).

The typical attempt to get into the branch goes like this:

The customer walks up to the branch, completely oblivious to the darkened lobby. They pull on the front door. It won't open. So they push... it still won't open. Then they notice that our hours of operation are clearly (and prominently) displayed on the door directly in front of their face. They read it, check their watch, realize they're too late, then pull on the door one more time for good measure.
They meander down the sidewalk, peering in the windows, knocking to get our attention. When they finally make eye contact with one of us, they try to yell through the glass to ask a question, make a demand, etc... no one can hear them, so they end up basically playing charades. We eventually get them to walk over to the drive thru, where they inevitably ask me, "are you closed?" ..... often followed by, "well, can I come in?"

.....Sigh.....

Multi-Purpose!

So you think that a drive thru at the bank is just for transactions?! apparently it is sooooo much more:

• a welcome center (i know it's hard to believe, but just because i work in this town doesn't mean i know the location of every gas station/store/bank/church/restaurant/etc)
• a bathroom... for urinating and vomiting (yes, i've seen both. not a pretty sight... the guy who used the drive thru to relieve himself came into the branch afterwards & told us proudly what he'd just done)
• a bar for throwing back a few beers and picking up women (maybe i should say "attempting to pick up women"... but these two normally go together. it's the people walking/driving down the alley with alcohol that have the courage to ask me/any woman within a 10 ft radius out)
• an auto shop (people who break down at the window - it happens more than you'd think - always look at me expectantly like i'm supposed to rush out to rotate their tires in record time or something... sir, i can't help you push your car down the road; i'm wearing heels!)

so the next time you need directions/facilities/a drink/a tune-up, head for your nearest bank drive-thru!

High-Tech Bank Equipment...

i think our ink pad (for non-customer check cashing) may require a Ph.D. to use... this opinion is based upon the number of people who can't figure out how to work it. maybe it's just a little too high-tech.

i'm thinking of putting up a step-by-step tutorial in the window:

1. remove the ink pad from the drive-thru drawer (this is an important step as simply pressing your finger to the check without ink does not work)
2. the top part is a lid. open it (the lid does not have ink on it, no matter how hard you press on it)
3. press firmly on the ink pad until your finger is covered in ink
4. now press your finger on the ckeck (yes, a finger print should be visible after this step... it's not clear ink. if you can't see the print, you need more ink)

who would have thought it's such a difficult process?!

Ahhh... The Coin Machine

i wish that the lowest form of currency was the one dollar bill... that no coin existed... that everything was just rounded off to the nearest dollar.

we really need a sign up in our branch that states the following:

"if you want us to run your loose change through our coin machine, please make sure that the following standards are met...

your coin:

1. is from the U.S. (no, Canada does not count)
2. is actually money... no Chucky Cheese tokens, etc.
3. is not in a coke bottle... yes, pennies fit perfectly into the opening, but it's extremely difficult to get them back out. it's a lot of work for $.50
4. is not in a large jar partially filled with stagnant water.... why? because that's just gross and we don't like it
5. is not mixed with pet fur, hair, jewelry, dirt, balls of lint, or other nasty things that can't even be identified

thank you for your cooperation!"

From the Beginning...

i should have known pretty early on that things would always be interesting down here. after being in the branch for about 2 weeks i had my first truly bizarre interaction:



after listening to an elderly woman throw an explitive-laced temper tantrum in response to her unfavorable available balance (a lot of words you wouldn't expect to hear from a "sweet, little old lady"), i asked if she'd like to sit down with a banker and go over her account. she didn't want to do that and instead stormed out of the branch after giving me one last dirty look and threatening that she might just "come back in here and shoot you.... blow you up!"



one of those true grandmother-ly types.

Here we go....

hello everyone!

due to popular demand, i've decided to start blogging about the interesting people and events that my coworkers and i encounter through our jobs at the bank! i hope y'all enjoy it... i'm sure i will!

so here's just a little something to get things going:

just in case you didn't know, constipation is now considered by some people to be an acceptable reason to call 9-1-1. yes, this really happened. a fire truck and ambulance were dispatched to assist a person across the street from our branch who was suffering from this horrific ailment. apparently the first responders were not too happy when they learned the reason why they had been called!

ok, well stay tuned! i'm sure there will be much more to follow... or i might re-tell a few favorites if things get slow :)
be especially sure to check in if there's a full moon... things always seem to get really interesting then!

thanks for reading!
erica